Some things are better left…UNSAID!
I was talking to my friend about me opening up my heart and tearing down these walls that I’ve built and actually allowing someone to get close to me. In the midst of all of that, I posted a status on facebook regarding this revelation I seemed to have embarked upon. Now, there was a lot of feedback that really doesn’t validate the title of this post, so I’ll skip ahead.
Carla R Buckner is going to tear down these walls and let someone in..this month..no, the end of this month..no, that’ll be my New Year’s resolution, or maybe I’ll wait until the summer, or maybe when it gets cold again..sigh**
And here is the meaning of this post:
Now, instead of embarrassing him on my page in front of all my friends, I decided to just leave it with a simple, Nope. It wasn’t me. Mind you, “Supaman” does not have a job nor does he go to school. He lives at home with his mom where he is satisfied by playing XBOX 360 ALL DAY. I’ll admit that he does put down the controller when night falls. However, that is only to change his clothes for the club.
Now correct me if I’m wrong, but there is NOTHING productive that occurs throughtout this guy’s day so why I should I even waste my time with conversations and hang-out sessions? I work full-time plus overtime, I go to school full-time, and I tend to my children all the time. If I can make the time to get all of this done, someone without kids or without ANY responsibilities can certainly find something constructive to do with their time.
I could have explained why I stopped talking to him but he’s heard it all before. He’s heard all of this before and still feels that his life is productive. Granted, there is someone for everyone in this world, even slackers. However, I’m not the slacking type. I’m a go getter. I’m ambitious. I have morals, goals, aspirations and dreams. I realize that the success that I want to attain and retain will take dedication and allegiance. Nevertheless, I’m willing to work hard towards obtaining that success.
With all that has been said, I can conclude that ANY grown ass man that crosses my path that is not equally determined and ambitious, can take the route in which he traveled to enter my life, and exit it. That is all.
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I definitely understand what you mean. I have run across too many of these stay-at-home momma boy types and half of them see nothing wrong with that, you know why? because their mothers don’t. You have two children, and you don’t have time to take care of another, so he needs to shut up and move on with himself.
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Oooohh I know a guy that does that, well he works but his spare time is mainly spent with video games. My bf. LOL. Ive spent three years with him now and not much has changed, I can tell you. Im more ambitious and more inspired with stuff, whereas he’s happy to continue doing what he does and not enhance his prospects.. I dont know whether its the way he was brought up, or that he’s never known responsability.. (because he hasnt, lets face it, he never has had to pay board or move out or do anything drastic) and it affects their lives for the rest of their time here. They don’t see anything wrong in not improving anything. Its frustrating when Im the complete opposite lol. But we all learn these things and we all learn eventually where we stand and should be, so I figure let nature takes its course.
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I don’t know how you do it. You’re a very patient person but I would assume that you would be a little more patient as you’ve been with this guy for three years. I also think that it’s the way that they are brought up. Like Shannon said, if their parents condone their dependency, they feel as if the world should.
Raely B.´s last blog ..Some things are better left…UNSAID!
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I wish a lot of people would take the title of this post to heart, in many, many ways. Anyhow, it always seems to be those who have nothing going on with themselves that have so much to say. Playing XBox and clubbing is all fine and dandy, but there has to be something more. I’m currently between jobs and not in school, but I have a plan. I refuse to sit back and let me life stay what it is. I needed a break, truthfully, but in order to have a life, you have to work at it. Some people don’t realize that. But I commend you for working so hard and doing your thing! I was like that at one point, and soon, I`ll be back to where I need to be. I have faith in it.
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I agree Shannon. If Mommy-Dearest condones it, they feel everyone should. At the same time, at some point you realize that there’s more to life than having someone take care of YOUR responsibilities. If you’re in the fridge and you realize that all of the Capri Suns are gone and you’re hollering out to mom just to tell her, YOU NEED A WAKE-UP call..or maybe mom does.. #imjustsaying :loser:
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But see, the difference between you and them is that you have a plan. You have taken the iniative to derive a plan to obtain success and make value of your life. Working two jobs isn’t easy. Hell, working full time at ONE job isn’t easy. But the responsible people that dwell on this earth, the ambitious people find a way to manage to do both or either/or.
This dude, nothing. Now, he does have this little “business” where he fixes systems. He’s very smart but he does not have a business mind. He waits for people to call him and it’s not a job that will pay rent, bills, etc. You might as well say it’s freelance work. He basically just sits around and waits for the business to boom. People with “business minds” don’t sit around and wait. They get up and do.
I hope everything falls into place for you! Keep working towards lining everything up! :-)
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Interesting post. I agree with you 100%. While I’m not where I want to be, this guy whoever I end up with have to have something “real” going for him… While one has to be ambitious on their own.. its even better when one makes u fight even harder then you are currently.
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I concur, Trecia. Having someone there that is equally ambitious is always a plus!
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I so despise these type of guys and lucky for me I haven’t ran into any of them either. I just can’t fathom how you can sit at someone else home comfortably, like you own it, and not feel like a loser and a freeloader! He sounds like he’s insecure to me, but I don’t know what happen in his life to make him this way, but the shit is sad and so unattractive! You did a good thing by letting him keep the little bit of pride he has lol
Dominique – Relaxation Is A Must
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That is the way to be as if you got some kids to take care of, than hells freaking yah!!! You gotta do what you gotta do to better not just yourself and careeer but your life as well as those little kids are depending on you for a better way of life and you honestly do not need some dead weight of a dead beat “Mama’s Boy” holding you back from making it in this cold and hard world for not just you but your children as well. You got kids of your own already, you don’t needa take on another woman’s grown ass son who clearly think he is still some little boy PLUS your own kids to take care of – ain’t no room in this world for grown ass non ambitious big boy babies.
I honestly needa practice what I preach but in my defense I suffer from depression so that is something am currently working on at the moment but at the same time give me a damn good job and am a happy hard working camper but one thing I know bout dead beat “Mama Boys” they love to freeload off their hardworking women and in a sense view them as if they are their new mama’s…which to me in my eyes – is really sad and pathetic…especially when that woman has children of her own and from another man or even if it is his own children that he had with her…the fact that he feels he come before your own children is even more sadder…nother sign “RED FLAG SIGN” to kick his sorry good for nothin butt to the curb
So, do what you gotta do gurl to get on in this life to improve boht you and ya kids lives for the better – I totally agree with what you say about meeting a man who is not as ambitious as you and how they needa get the stepping outta ya life as you have no time for loosers like that…that is sooo true as they are only dead weight…
Take Care & Best Of Luck In Your Life Goals & Dreamz!
Bella Rose – Blog Buddies
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Indeed it is VERY unattractive. Now, he wasn’t the best looker but I had gotten past his looks. But just being as lazy as he was, made me notice his yellow teeth, that dirty/worn out du-rag that he wears all the time, etc. Lord knows I HATE when a guy wears a du-rag ALL the time especially when their hair is tamed and neat!! UGGH!! :reallyangry:
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LOL @ “grown ass non ambitious big boy babies. ” Isn’t that the truth? There is definitely NO ROOM for slackers in MY WORLD and in my world, I’m all about getting all that I can get out of this life that was given to me. I don’t understand how some people can just live in this world without finding their purpose in life. But, maybe they don’t know that there’s a world that exists beyond the twin bed at their mom’s crib!
Good luck with dealing with your depression. I know that is extremely hard to deal with. But you know, even though you’re suffering with that hardship, you’re still adding value to your life by working towards overcoming it! Kudos to you! I wish you the best of luck as well! :heart:
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That pisses me off he does sound like a big momma’s baby.This is a great topic.Ur a strong woman/mother.Keep doing what u are doing
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Ew, those kinda guys irritate me. I respect you so much for not putting him on blast. That just shows your maturity, and will to move on. But with time & patience, we will all find that person we deserve.
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I don’t think that’s cute at all. I mean he could at least work at McDonalds or Walmart and pretend like he working towards a management position one day. I don’t see how anyone would want to just sit in te house all day and play a video game then spend the nights at the club. I need my money. His mom needs to rethink her mothering techniques and call for an intervention.
Gwanii – #CatsAndMints.
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Thanks Jaye! I agree with you. He is a BIG momma’s boy and I HATE momma’s boys!
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I’m just waiting on that day where I actually find someone that is worth my time. LOL
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EXACTLY! I’m not a shallow person. If I meet you somewhere and later on I find out that you ride behind the garbage truck and you consider yourself a sanitation engineer, then it is what it is. You’re making an honest living and there is no way I can bash that!
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I get what you are saying. I wouldn’t want to waste my time
on no loser like him either. It’s crazy that he had the
nerve to comment on your page. It’s good to put up boundaries
and to have standards. If we don’t put these things in place,
people will just use and abuse, and run all over us.
Samara – I Miss Florida
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Sometimes with people like that you just have to let it go. You’ve explained to him several times what the issue is and he wants you to take full responsibility for his fuckery. Don’t you need some kind of funding to go club hopping every night? lol I’m just saying aint nothing cute about asking mom can you hold a few coins to get some drinks at the spot thats just sloppy.
Meesh – Cunt Love
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Ohhh girlllll. Your post gave me chills.
Ain’t this the truth.
As said up above in your comments, someone can work at McDonalds and make an honest living, even in this economy, something is better than nothing at this point. I would hate to be without a job because it occupies my time, along with putting food, clothes, and diapers on the table for my child.
Agreed, 100000%. Your a strong woman, and I admire that.
KayC – Finally, snow!
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