Mind vs. Body
When your kids are gone, you turn into a pretzel and think you’re a model! Poor me!That is what I was doing at 11:30 at night. I was SOOO bored that I felt like “imitating” a model and taking some random shot and posting it on Facebook. I think I paced up and down the hallway 20 times just to make myself tired. The silence inside my home was deafening. I was losing it without my children there. I finally got time to myself and I didn’t know what the hell to do. Then, I got a phone call. Let’s just say, I JUMPED at the opportunity.
Of course you know, I’ll explain PRIVATELY!
All of the formalities that led up to my moment of PG-13 delirium can be bypassed. Don’t get me wrong, those memories played a significant role to my attainment of such a sought after vehemence. But, it is the intimate and innate contact that he and I had with one another that has left a larger imprint. The utterance into my ear still has my body shaking. His vulgar words were harmonious. With the verbatim recollection of those words, I am able to allow my body to revisit that same state of ecstasy as if he were here, on the right of me, taunting me just as he remembered how I had loved it so much 3 years prior to this reunion.
We spent some time engaging in conversation, catching up on each other. He knew a lot about me. It seemed I was playing the “catch up” game alone. After a few laughs, silence fell upon us. It was deafening and it was apparent he couldn’t take it. He came over to me and kissed my cheek. Then he stopped and looked at me and said, “I really missed you.” Without giving me time to respond, he kissed my lips. He didn’t need a response. That’s what I love about him. He knows how I feel without even asking me. After an intense session of osculation, he whispers a question in my ear that I wish I could have said yes to. My mind and my body were definitely at war. I wanted to surrender my body. I was ready to raise the white flag. Nevertheless, it was my mind that prevailed. I won’t dare claim utter disappointment as I trust my mind. Maybe my mind knows something that I don’t. Maybe it knows that with enough sagacity of “that moment” will allow me to experience ultimate satisfaction. I hope my body’s patience is sufficient.
I know I made him feel good. How am I so sure? Well, because he kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to renounce his offer. He knew I wanted to oblige and be submissive to my flesh. There were some situations that I needed to handle before I could allow myself to enter a realm with him. But, he makes it so hard to focus on those situations when he looks at me the way he does and calls me “Baby”. I truly hate this sense of weakness. But then again, maybe that has been my problem all along, at least that’s that I’ve been told. We’ll see how this goes. I’m loving the way things are right now. I can see him so clearly now. Before, I found it rather hard to see him through the walls that I had built. I love his destructive nature for tearing them down!
22 Comments so far
Leave a reply
|
Aw, that relationship and what it was sounds really deep. It sounds like he means a great deal to you. I wish you good luck with it. True love is hard to find, I know from experience. I hope to find that for myself one day, but I know I`m not ready right now. God must know too, because I feel like it`ll happen when and if it’s supposed to.
Lol, and I see the model pose! I had to turn my laptop around to figure out how you did it, but it’s cute!
[Reply]
You sound so in love :heart: hehe! Wish you two the best of luck girl!
I had to turn my face around a little to see your pose haha very cute!
[Reply]
Sounds really intoxicating and I definitely know the feeling. I understand the need to be wanted/desired and the feeling that you get when you are because you don’t want to be totally submissive as you want to bask in the moment but you just can’t help yourself!
Beautiful photos!
Shannon – Take Me Away
[Reply]
Weirdly, I can feel his aura through your words *giggles*. It must be nice! He sounds like a complete gentlemen, I can tell he has much respect for you, I love that in a guy. Love the pictures <3 I'm so jealous of your hair, it's so thick and full, I lust for that.
Dominique – The Ugly Truth: Beauty Costs
[Reply]
Awe…the “Weakness Of The Flesh”…a temptation that is as old as time itself (if not older)
Hunnie child, if giving to such temptations make you weak or is a crime…than shit – you are most certainly not the only soul who is comitting such a crime of weakness – as it is “PURELY HUMAN NATURE” – if it was so easy to resist than it would not be such a huge issue in the world today…*LOL*
Besides nothing wrong with a little ‘Guilty Plesure” every now and than *winx* And gurl if this man makes you feel the way you have just described – than you should (once you get your certain situations sorted out) explore those feelings and see if there is more to it than just “Weakness Of The Flesh”…check and see if it is something that is far more than about “Getting Physical” with him…
Cause I be honest and I know I don’t know a thing about you and your fellow friend but I will say this becareful as men will use “SMOOTH TALK” and “WEAKNESS OF THE FLESH” to get what they want and toss you aside like yesturday’s newspaper and have you all twisted or wrapped around his “LITTLE” finger just so he can get what he want and whne he want it…you being a strong and ambitious woman who is very determine to make her life a much better life for you and your young children – and am not passing judgements here as I know exactly where you are coming from here and what you are now feeling…but I just want to say make sure you don’t get hurt in the long run…look out for yourself and your young children…as you guys come first before any man and his “Third Leg”
Am not saying don’t have fun…as you are a human woman who has needs and wants that only a “MAN” can provide and offer…take advantage of any man who comes “WILLING & WANTING” but never loose true self in those very few “Heated Passionate Moments”…make it clear to him that true you do have physical needs and wants but no matter what you have your young children as well as yourself to think of…
Put your cards out on the table and make it clear that you maybe weak of the flesh but one thing is for sure – your heart and your kids come first no matter what.
Am glad to hear you had a good night though *winx* And I do hope you can “Give Into The Weakness Of The Flesh” in the very near future so that your body can be “AT PEACE” physically *winx*
Have A Good One Hun!
Bella Rose – The Rumored “Appleberry” – Fact (or) Fiction?
[Reply]
Bella, you had me rolling with this post. With all the humor packed in that comment, I was still able to get your point. That’s what I like most about your comments. I definitely will feel him out before I take it to that level with him. I’ve dated him before and I made him wait before and it’s like I have to start all over with him because it’s been so long. I won’t even lie, my FLESH is telling me to bypass all of that because I know him, but I definitely don’t want to do that. He was patient enough to wait before and it seems as though he’s patient enough to wait now. He’s definitely not pressuring me but I think he knows how hard it is for me to say yes to him. I think he likes this challege. LOL.
By the way, I’m hoping I can “give into the weakness of the flesh” so my body can be “at peace” as well. But until then, I’ll just go through the motions respectfully. LOL.
[Reply]
You’re just as bad as me with the model pics lol! Anyways it is hard to retain your composure when your want to be loved and held. Waiting makes you more desirable so while you are going crazy wanting him, I’m pretty sure he feels the same way too. What a romantic encounter!
Samara – Not Feeling Well
[Reply]
Hmm..I don’t really know how to respond to this post.
Love the model pic though, you must have been really bored (:
-
Were you speechless on my blog or what…lol.
Simone – Keep Your Friends Close, But Your Enemies Closer. . .
[Reply]
I definitely was.
[Reply]
First off, I FUCKING LOVE YOUR BOOTS. Ugh.
Secondly, love your pictures, you are the cutest thing in the world.
Thirdly, very lovely written had me intrigued the whole time. I wish I was experiencing that right about now, so I wish you luck if you end up giving in, if not, get me a man like that. Ha.
KayC – Low to high within a few days…
[Reply]
- – Wow!!!!! That picture is amazing! And the way you write is so intruiging! You should seriously consider writting a romance novel, wow! Those boots are gorgeous! – -
[Reply]
hehe* I don’t know about a romance novel but I just write how I’m feeling. I’ve never considered writing one. Once, I wrote a semi-autobiography but it didn’t have a tap of romance in it. LOL
[Reply]
Thanks KayC. I love them as well and that’s exactly why I buy clothes JUST to accommodate the style and color of them! I’m like Meagan Good. I am going to wear these boots until the heels fall off as I have done it before! LOL.
[Reply]
thanks, i’ve added your link too!
[Reply]
First of all, those boots are kickass and even though you were clowning around, you do look cute in the photo!
As for the rest of this post *fans self* Can I get some water??! Lol Omg you make me disgusted at my own lack of a sex life…please talk about rainbows and pinguines are something next time. I swear this was a small exerpt out of an erotica novel…Lmao!
[Reply]
Weirdly, I can feel his aura through your words *giggles*. It must be nice! He sounds like a complete gentlemen, I can tell he has much respect for you, I love that in a guy. Love the pictures <3 I'm so jealous of your hair, it's so thick and full, I lust for that.
I have been trying for the past couple days to get that comment to send and it wouldn't, hopefully it goes through this time :-)
[Reply]
Girl them boots is off the chain and you know it!! You were bored huh?! Good photo tho lol. Sounds like someone is in love omg it was like i was reading one of them love books i’m with Tamara, I need to fan myself right now LMAO!!! Get it girl, i ain’t mad at cha!
[Reply]
I agree with Tamara, parts of the post seemed like it was part of an erotic novel. It’s all good as long as you’re happy though and you definitely seem happy.
Sean – 2010 Off to a… Start
[Reply]
yasss for having nothing better to do but have a photoshoot in the hallway! lol Reminds me of how I spent many o’ days. Any whom this was a good read As for the situation… your resistance is better than mine! There is no telling what in the world would’ve happend lol!
Meesh – It STARTS A Sharpie & A Dream…or Some Shit Like That
[Reply]
LOVE the boots! I have my moments where I play super model as well, there’s nothing wrong with that! This was a good read, nice to read a blog with some substance – which a lot of mine been lacking lately! Don’t judge me! LOL! I wish I could relate but I can say it did have me intrigued. In response to the comment you left about S.A.S – I love their music. Let’s not forget how nice they are to look at & those accents just complete it! LOL! I promote for them so from time to time there will be new music on my blog if you are interested. ♥
[Reply]
He sounds like a damn good man…I do hope things work out for the best for you and him – especially in the “WEAKNESS OF THE FLESH” area….
And bout my comments being packed with humour and straight to the point…HELL!!! I call ‘em as I see ‘em and tell it like it is…what you see is what you get hun! *winx* Hope that all made sense…*LOL*
[Reply]
Tamara, Breezie, & Sean —
I’ve reread this post a few times and it does KIND OF sound like an erotica novel. LOL. I guess my life is a little more interesting and wilder than I thought! LOL.
[Reply]