Carl Sandburg says,
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
I can literally feel me losing myself within my daily tasks. Balancing motherhood, school, and work is really beginning to take its toll on me. I’ve gone through these phases countless times and I’ve always been able to overcome them; but this time, I’m really feeling like I need some type of intervention to pull myself from the depths.
I’m at the point now where everything I do is basically predictable. Everything is recorded on a schedule that leaves me with little or no time at all in between accomplishing all of these tasks. Also at this reached point, I know that all I need is some personal time, but now I don’t even know what to do when I get that personal time. When I get time to myself, I’m playing catch up that are along the lines of none other than the three aspects of my life: motherhood, school, and work.
This redundancy that exists within my life is taking a toll on me emotionally. My personality is hanging on by a thread and my patience for people is entering a state of defunctness. I’ve learned some time ago that it’s much easier to enhance the quality of living by choosing to not dwell so much on what others have and what you want, but by appreciating the fact that you have everything you need. Therefore, that’s exactly what I’m striving to perfect: the quality of my own existence. In addition to that, I need to stop putting myself on the back-burner so often. I am aware that my kids are first in my life after God, but I feel like I have been programmed to feel obligated or compelled to disregard my needs altogether. As a result, I feel detached from my friends and people in general.
From this point, I’m taking care of me. I plan to become a bit more attentive to my needs and desires. I work very hard and I deserve to reap the benefits of my hard work and dedication to being a mommy, student, and worker. It’s time that I just focus on my inclinations, find the moments to relax, and just enjoy life by dwelling within my accomplishments to date as well as appreciating the simplicity my income creates.
The semester is drawing to it’s end. Needless to say, I’m getting a jumpstart on me.