This semester I’m taking 15 hours. Although none are computer courses, they are still courses that I need to obtain my Bachelor’s degree. I’m very confident that I won’t have to withdraw from any courses. They are relatively easy and with my regular attendance, everything seems to be going well. I’m excited about school again. I feel like I felt when I first started. I’m determined and I’m focused. I’m organized and I’m staying on top of things. I will make this an awesome semester.

Graduation is so close and I am very proud of myself for making it this far. I have 35 hours remaining, which is about 2 semesters. Even if it ends up being longer, I will definitely graduate. I’ve learned not to compare my life to others because I can only live mine. I can’t ever express how being a parent, being an undergrad, and being a full-time employee takes hard work, determination, and faith. I am definitely aware that my struggle is not in vain. I’ve drifted into the thought of me walking across the stage to receive my Bachelor’s degree and I always smile and/or shed a few tears. It was always apparent that I would make it this far; it’s also apparent that stopping is not an option. Even if it were, I’d choose otherwise.

With any working parent, time is crucial. Currently, my work schedule and the times for the classes that I need are a major conflict. The schedule that I want has nothing to do with the schedule that I need in order to keep my incentive, medical benefits, etc. My job requires that I work 40 hours a week. Right now, I don’t see how that is possible without killing myself on particular days.

I’ve already accepted the fact that I won’t graduate when I want to graduate; nevertheless, graduating is not an option for me, rather it is a promise. It is an obligation to myself, my parents, my own family. It is a goal that I want to accomplish.

At this point, I’m not sure when I’m graduating. I constructed a plan to take a certain amount of classes each semester but it seems as though something always gets in the way. Partially, this is my own fault. It’s my fault because I should have transferred all of my credits from other institutions I attended summers ago that are qualified pre-requisites for some of the classes I am prohibited from enrolling in. Also, I know that my school’s online courses are full of bullshit. Online courses at Southern University are oxymorons. The classes require that you attend several sessions AND require that you “attend” (log on) class at a certain time. Where’s the convenience in that? Oh, and the syllabus, a major contradiction.

So, I have been reduced to taking 12 hours. ..12 measely hours. Although these 12 hours are the minimum I need for my financial aid, I was hoping to take an extra class. In essence, I only need 3 of the 4 classes that I’m taking. *sigh*

Hopefully, I can propose a schedule change to my supervisor that will fly. But if not, I’ll have to anticipate my graduation date further away. The more and more I rationalize, the more I see the fact that as long as I graduate, that’s all that matters. Yea.. that’s all that matters.

Anyways, since I already have plans for this summer and that money will definitely be a help, I’m getting everything together and mailing it off. I already know my classes will be purged, my financial aid will be delayed, and I’ll have to get overrides for each class which will have to include a statement from EACH teacher informing them that I have been attending. The devil stays busy!

This won’t stop me.

Iyanna and her classmates sung their ABC’s in Spanish, another song in Spanish, and they song the 12 days of School which I have on video and need to upload. Overall, the ceremony was awesome and it allowed the kids to be proud of their accomplishments. Moreover, it made me feel proud that Iyanna acquired a great deal of knowledge.

However…

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “How could there be a however?” The however comes into play when I read the program.

On the program, it read “Returning to Head Start” and a list of majority of Iyanna’s classmates, including herself, except three students because they were going to Kindergarten. The term “returning” created an abhorrence within me. Now, I knew it didn’t mean that my child had been retained, but that was after the anger subsided. This term simply meant that I have a choice to allow her to remain in Head Start because of her age or allow her to go to Pre-K which is much more structured.

It angers and frustrates me that my daughter has to be with other kids who are younger than her just because she was born in November. It’s a state law that children that are not 5 by September 30th, will have to wait a year. Now, I would never make a stupid decision and allow my daughter to remain in Head Start to learn the SAME thing for another year, but I refuse to allow her to be in a class with three year olds. My niece is 3 and she starts Head Start in August. My daughter will be 5 in November. This troubled and angered me. My mom’s blood was boiling.

After the program, we talked with several teachers and they suggested looking into private schools. My mom insisted that Iyanna was going to attend a private school and I insisted that such was not going to happen because I definitely didn’t have the funds to pay for it. That’s when she offered to pay for it and so did my brother who lives in Michigan. We then went to a private school who informed us of the state law and that it was no getting around it. She can remain in Head Start or go to Pre-K. Kindergarten was not an option.

Iyanna has been accepted into Pre-K but not into the class of the teacher that I preferred. She’s second on a list for a second Pre-K class which is a good thing. However, the school has yet to receive funding for this class and a teacher. Again, I was presented with three options: allow Iyanna to remain in Head Start and when the school received funding they’ll move her, allow her to remain on the list and “patiently” wait, or have her attend another school in her parish. My first option was the latter considering that a bus will ship a child to a different school as long as it’s in the same parish. The nearest school is Crescent Elementary which is in Plaquemine, LA uber far from where I live. However, the parish no longer provides transporation. fuck the what?

But, there’s an alternative: bicycling. Excuse me while I install a seat on the back of my cruiser with whitewalls to travel the distance below ↓

→ More? (VERY long–as long as that route!)

There’s no way around getting her into kindergarden this year. Nevertheless, I plan on getting her tested for gifted/talented as I was. I believe she is gifted and I believe she is talented. I do not believe that it’s beneficial for her to remain in Head Start with three year olds. That’s just NOT happening.

I really hate the way all of this is set-up. However, many teachers do not agree with me.

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I dreamt last night of my first day of class. I woke up and checked our registration system and I saw ‘Pell Grant – $2675 – Accepted by Student’ under my financial aid information. When I arrived at work, I immediately called my school to see if I had received the grant and he gave me the greatest news I literally dreamt about.

I have received the grant plus I got approved for an educational loan in the amount of $1900+. I’m not sure if I want to accept the loan but I think I just might. There’s a few things that I need and want to do this summer and that money will be very beneficial in attaining such.

I feel so relieved–I feel so relieved that this expense is no longer a burden for me. I can’t even explain how thankful I am that God has given me such favor. He is ALWAYS on time. A-L-W-A-Y-S on time.

I literally sat at my desk and I shed a few tears–tears of happiness, relief, joy, solace..

My grandmother used to sing this song. She had an amazing voice and I’m sure that’s where my sister inherited a quality that I covet. She’d walk all through the house singing:

“…yes He will fix it for you..He knows just what to do. Whenever you pray, let Him have His way, and He will fix it for you.“

When she sang, I never understood who “He” was. Now, He and I are on a first name basis.