est1987.net » Iyanna & Imari

Wordless Wednesday..kinda..

Raely B. — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 02:26:09 +0000

Finally, an OK morning.

Raely B. — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 00:31:19 +0000

Suprisingly, I awoke this morning around 5:30 AM to make sure my daughter and I made it to school on time. I woke my daughter up around 6:45 AM so she could wash her face and brush her teeth. While she did that, I got my son ready, whom was still asleep. It’s amazing how independent and obedient she is. Granted, we have our days where I may need to spank her, but we’re getting better with understanding each other. It’s not often that I have to raise my voice or scold her; I’m trying to break out of that altogther.

She arrived to school–on time. WOOT! I was proud of myself. When she was in Head Start, she hardly ever eat breakfast with her class. We woke up a little later, ate breakfast at home or on the way to school, and she made it to school around 8:30 AM, when her class returned from breakfast. I could tell she was excited to eat with her little friends.

I dropped my son off at his daycare and proceeded to school. My first class began at 9AM and I had plenty of time to spare. I sang aloud; I drove the speed limit; I even stopped for breakfast, the most important meal of the day! When I got to school, my first class was cancelled because of a flood on the first floor and no air conditioning on the second. I visited my advisor until my next class started. Finished up with school and headed to work.

Even though there was a little problem that I had to attend to, I’m still trying to look at the glass as being half full. This “problem” created a massive headache for me on a day that had the potential to be fantastic. So tomorrow, we’ll try this again.

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Allow me to HUMBLE you..

Raely B. — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 23:46:35 +0000

Disclaimer: If this offends you, you’re welcome. I hope I’ve humbled you today.

It puzzles me how a person gathers the stones that are thrown at them everyday only to launch them in your direction. It amazes me how one can pick at every intricate detail that surrounds someone else’s life without considering the thought of taking a gander at theirs. Have we all forgotten or overlooked the obvious and blatant fact that we are all human and therefore, we are far from perfect? I recently checked myself for clarity and I’m definitely human. Nevertheless, I won’t apologize for that.

It takes a sufficient amount of energy to constantly point out the faults and imperfections of others while trying to ignore your own. Let’s be honest here: from saving face to unnecessary justifications due to guilt, the chores are quite tiring. Personally, I cannot thrive off of negativity and/or tearing down one’s house to build my home. What type of foundation is expected to withhold all of that guilt in the end? Surely, one can’t really think that a house built on such said foundation, won’t come tumbling down. Maybe I’m the only individual who can’t stomach such vile activity. Or maybe it fills the nothingness of some. For me, it definitely doesn’t satisfy any type of void that may exist. My soul thirsts for positive fulfillment. It always has.

Although done everyday, none of us, as humans, are in any type of position to judge the next, especially when we have created the same acts publicly and/or privately. Sin is sin, regardless of the degree. With that being said, you are definitely no better than the person you are trying to judge or have judged. I’m definitely guilty of doing the aforementioned; however, I’ve learned the difference in educated judgments and opinions. I wish more people would do the same.

Check my Statistics ▼

I’ve been taunted because I’ve had two children at a very young age by two different men. These particular individuals all have had children out of wedlock by different men. What’s puzzling is that I’m trying to figure out the difference? I’m on a quest to discover the primary discrepancy amongst myself and those individuals. I just can’t see it and I’m starting to grow weary of this task. What’s so amazing to me is their rationale and justifications behind their sin. It was their choice to bring a child into the world out of wedlock by different men. But I.. oh I was just careless and only did it to keep a “man” around. (The comment was autobiographical, needless to say) Nevertheless, sin is sin. Align us all side by side and ask us if we’re married and we’ll all have no other choice but to agree to the fact that we all have bastard children. (respectfully termed.)

My Statistics

I got pregnant with my daughter in high school. I gave birth to her AFTER I graduated in the top 25% with a 3.5 GPA. I was 26/104.

I began college the semester after I gave birth to my daughter. I didn’t move far away, or to another city and leave her in the care of my mother or relatives. I saved money for my own apartment, in which I moved into before my daughter turned 1 years old.

I have entered my fourth year of college and now I have two kids whom I support. My daughter is now of school age and I make sure she is cared for academically as that has already been proven to her teachers. I guess that stemmed from her also “graduating” when I graduated high school. After all, she was in my womb. [Paraphrased version. The original quote can be found by the individual who got pregnant twice while in college. It's probably safe to assume that she must have smart kids as well.]

I juggle parenthood, school, and work with little complaint. I’ve accepted that I basically have to do this alone there is not a day that I blame my children for my busy life and sometimes stressful life. Furthermore, I make sure to spend quality time with them and I LOVE IT!

For more information, please visit Iyanna, Imari, and I – Always updating!

I was a 17-year-old, pregnant high school graduate. I am a 23-year-old African American mother of two beautiful, gifted children who WILL graduate college to better our lives, no matter how long it takes.

≡

In essence, we are all statistics in some shape or form. You can belong to the negative aggregation, or the positive. It’s your choice. So to all you individuals who quote lyrics that you only have “kids with one baby daddy” (what is a baby daddy exactly?), be careful because that relationship can end and you’ll then have three kids and two different fathers . What’s even worse, you could be doing it alone–all over again.

Regardless of who it is said to, the ignorant commentary is quite annoying. Be cautious in regards to what you say about others. Be careful of the direction the casting of your stones take as they may make their way back to you! Maps and compasses can be purchased via Amazon.com.

No subliminals. No shade.

Status: Processing

Raely B. — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:28:45 +0000

It’s apparent that I’ve been occupied for the past few weeks. I’m still trying to get everything ready for my daughter and myself in regards to school. I have yet to get her more uniforms, but she doesn’t have to start school until the 19th so I still have time before that’s needed. I’ve also been looking into other schools when she reaches Kindergarten. I’ve narrowed it down to three choices–all of which have remarkable curriculums.

Besides school, so much has been going on that I prefer, at this time, to keep quiet about. Maybe I’ll spill my guts out in a private entry. Right now, I’m just trying to remain focused on what’s important. It’s just that sometimes, things get a bit overwhelming for me. I’m trying to make more time to get things done, but that’s a process in itself.

Nevertheless, what’s amazing about this process is my support system. Granted, I have an impeccable one. They are truly some remarkable people and I am very blessed to have them in my life sharing tears, joy, etc. I’m adapting and in a few more weeks, order will be restored and I’ll be able to relax. This summer has really flown by and I wasn’t able to do a lot of the things that I’d planned to do. Hopefully, I can take a break in September and get some things done.

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Paging Doctor Coe.

Raely B. — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 20:23:42 +0000

“..In most cases, all a child may need is their mother–they’ll need their mother to kiss or rub away the pain. But when the mommy kisses aren’t sufficient enough, that’s when we come in. “

Do you remember those mommy/daddy kisses? Your curious mind could lead you to endure what seems like the most unimaginable and horrible pain ever felt, at least until mommy or daddy planted that soothing and remedial kiss on your face. There was nothing that a band-aid, Neosporin, and a kiss from mommy and daddy that couldn’t make all that “pain” subside. I find myself doing this with my children. My grandmother used to always say, “Let their cry be music to your ears. You have to really listen to understand.”

Now that I fully understand what she meant, I can immediately determine what type of relief I’d have to provide based on the intensity of their cries. In most cases, I’d only have to kiss their little foreheads and tell them how mommy loves them and it’ll be okay. Then there are times where it takes swaddling-while-singing sessions along with all of my “I-love-yous”. Nevertheless, my kisses always provided therapy for their pain. But for the last two nights, there was nothing I could do for Imari. Recently, I’ve had to deal with a new type of pain–a pain that I could not force to subside.

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I took Imari to the emergency room around 12 AM. He cried the whole time we were there, which was about 2-1/2 hours. My son was in great pain and I felt so helpless. At times, he didn’t even want me to hold him and it really hurt my feelings. Then, he’d walk to me as if he wanted me to pick him up, but the wailing increased! It was hard to control him but even harder to console him.

A doctor finally came in after I literally walked out into the corridor pleading for assistance in regards to Imari. I’ve never been in a position where there was nothing I could do to make my children feel better. ~~I felt worthless and useless~~. Luckily, a doctor was nice enough to come to my aid and look at my son. It was concluded that Imari had a MAJOR inner ear infection which apparently caused great pain to him. I had to use almost all the force that remained ~~within my useless ass~~ to hold my son down while the doctor gathered that information. Coincidentally, that only made matters worse for me because Imari didn’t even want me to hold him afterwards. He scratched, kicked, hit, and slapped me in no particular order. He had this look as if he didn’t understand why I held him like I did. In actuality, I never had to. That fact alone caused me to dwell within a state of lamentation. I tried to kiss him, but he rejected me. My infamous mommy kisses were counterproductive. I’ve never felt so inferior.

About 10 minutes later, the nurses came in to administer a shot and pain medication. Shortly after another wrestling match and increasing his level of spite that he may have had for me, he fell asleep. I felt relieved that my baby boy was finally able to rest. It had been two days since I was able to see him crack a smile in between his snoring. His little snores were soothing to my years.

Shortly after, the doctor returned and I could tell he could feel how relieved I was. By then, my tears had dried on my face but still served as evidence of such a toiling battle for peace. He told me he understood how I felt.

“..In most cases, all a child may need is their mother–they’ll need their mother to kiss or rub away the pain. But when the mommy kisses aren’t sufficient enough, that’s when we come in. “

I couldn’t thank Dr. Coe enough. To express my undying gratitude, I’m going to write someone in some place where it matters to acknowledge this man’s compassion and sympathy. Some doctors can’t see past your “health coverage” along with race and/or creed. Dr. Coe didn’t care–he saw a mother and child in need and he put the smile back on my son’s face and a everlasting smile in my heart.