My Spring semester has been so rewarding and is a semester that I will never forget.

An internship. Robotics Research.

And now, research with virtual systems.

It’s been a long, hard six years. Two kids. Three heartbreaks. Countless nights without sleep. Tear soaked pillows. Extreme weight gain. Extreme weight loss. A health scare. But I’m here.. preparing for my last semester and the end of my undergraduate career.

I’m really at a lost of words, but with so much to say.

This is it. One. More. Class.

And, I’m graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, Information Systems.

If ever you don’t believe that God is real, just look at me. Remember me.

I came here with the intention to type an entry. To give some sort of update, but I’m at a lost for words. Being blindsided is one of the worst feelings in the world. Next to realizing that you completely wasted your time, energy, and emotions on someone who ultimately wasn’t worth it.

The last feeling I’d ever thought I’d feel was hate. But, I do. Hate and regret. Dismay. Complete worthlessness.

It’s amazing how you can spend so much time with a person and still not know who they really are.

For some strange reason, I always think there’s some good in a person who seems so evil and rotten, when they’re really rotten to the core.

Friends. They’re dropping like flies.

I wrote this post yesterday. On Mother’s Day. After discovering some disheartening things and learning about a few unfortunate events, I wanted to stay in my bed with the covers to my neck and just sulk deep within my despair and disappointment. I skipped church, mainly because I wanted to speak with God alone. I stayed home because I didn’t even have the energy to suppress my anger and sadness.

But, then something came over me. My selfishness subsided. There was absolutely no reason that I should be in bed being absent during a celebration of life and motherhood. My family deserved for me to be in their presence to celebrate such a blessing.

It turned out to be one of the greatest days of my life. Fishing and conversing with my family and friends.

I woke up this morning, grateful that I came to my senses and refused to let the actions and ill wills of others impact my happiness. Those tears of sadness, suddenly turned into tears of Happiness. Gratefulness. Overwhelming Joy.

You gotta love blessings in disguise.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I’ve completely ignored and neglected my blog and I’ve also neglected my Google Reader. As soon as the semester is over, I’ll be back with updates about what’s going on and what I’m about to embark on.

So, what has happened up to this point?

- I’m an official, employed programmer. Yes, I get paid to research and do what I love.

- I’ve completed several projects with success and tomorrow, the team and I will do a presentation to a high school group.

- I’m counting down until the semester ends. A lot of unfortunate events have occurred despite all of the fortune things that have occurred. I’ll keep you guys posted on that.

I hope everyone is well and you’ll be seeing me soon with more updates.

Don’t forget about me!

I mentioned in a previous post that I was asked to hop aboard a robotics project with a few graduate students. Now, at first, I was shocked, excited, and eager in the beginning while I’m in the Chair of the Computer Science Department’s office. I didn’t know what type of work it would entail and at that time, it didn’t matter. He asked me and I was honored.

So, I accepted. I attended the first meeting about the project that they were currently working on. And let me tell you, after that first meeting, I was unsure I was a good fit for the group. They spoke a language that was unknown to me. It seemed as though everyone seemed to understand how to do what needed to be done except me and I began to doubt myself. We were all given individual assignments to work on and present our findings at the next meeting. This bothered me.

But, I thought to myself — this is the time to exude your knowledge and your willingness to learn more. I took off work early and I went to the library and did some research. And more research. And then more research after that. I was determined to have a presentation that was informative and included information that was sought after and needed.

And apparently, I made a lasting impression… an impression so big that the Chair invited me to speak to high school students for the rest of this month about our undergraduate programs and my experiences.

I left an impression so big that I’m permanently a part of this group that’s working on several different projects.

An impression so huge that I receive a stipend for the research hours that I spend in our robotics lab.

And an impression so big that I get to program my very own robot which gives me a head start on my project for my Master’s Degree. (I plan to start that in the Fall.)

Every thing still feels like a dream. I’ve waited for this moment. I’ve worked hard for this type of recognition and to be allowed this type of opportunity. Needless to say, my family is extremely proud and their encouragement means a lot to me.

I know this sounds strange, but this sort of makes me look forward to being laid off this year. And that’s probably because I pretty much already have a job ready for me this summer doing what I love. And it can only get from here. (:

I took a few days off just so I can slow down. I’ve realized that going to work directly after I finish my classes doesn’t give me the time to reflect on the lectures that were given that day. I like the fact of being able to get out of school and go to the library for the solace that I need to reflect and get things done. It’s kind of hard to do that when you’re a mother full time and a full time employee.

Nevertheless, I’ve gotten a lot of accomplished in the past few days and I’ve had time to regain my focus, put things back into perspective, and adhere to my agenda.

How is everyone’s week going thus far?