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For the past few days, I have been bored out of my mind. I’m too lazy to get the cable and internet transferred from my apartment and to my house. The DVDs are getting redundant and I think I know all the words to them. I don’t even know WHERE my library card is to even go to the library and rent DVDs or books. I am just bored. You’d think I’d be ready to start the semester right? Well, I’m not. I don’t even have a car. Who knows how long it’ll take SU to process my refund check. I really can’t see how people go years without a car. I’m about to die and it’s only been 1 week. I’ll get through it. Luckily, I have friends who help out in times like this. Ehh, but I HATE it! Oh well, this is only temporary.

Sunday, my friend and I are planning to go and walk downtown. Maybe that’ll liven things up for me in my life. I didn’t know life was so boring without a friggin’ car! I feel so helpless and so out of control. I hate the feeling of being this vulnerable. :help_tb:

Look at me..I’m making a big deal out of this. It is a big deal but I can get through this. Look at me rationalizing. But, I’m making sense. But rationalizing is appropriate at this moment. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Although this feels like forever, I know it’s not. Well, I’m still trying to convince myself that it’s not. :wink1_tb: Ehh whatever!

I talked to Chris, an old friend of mine. We’re supposed to be getting together this weekend. I’m not really looking forward to it based on the sole reason that he will tell me how I could have gotten with a winner and how he told me to leave the father of my son alone. Indeed he did, and I did not listen. I admitted it to him. However, I don’t think he’ll ever let me forget it. ..and if he doesn’t, I’ll go back under my rock and hide from him for another year or so. :tongue2_tb: The one thing I always hated about Chris was I felt like he had to impress me with materialistic things that he owned. Granted he was a VERY successful person and I should have chosen him over the father of my son, but I couldn’t get passed the fact that he may have been materialistic. I explained the situation to my friend and he told me that I’m just too independent and self-sufficient for my own good and I need to let someone do things for me.

Maybe I do..

My friend goes on..by this point I don’t want to hear what he has to say..but he’s the type to say what he wants and what’s real whether you want to hear it or not. He says:

You know why you’re single? Because you intimidate guys. [I laugh] ..and that’s not necessarily a good thing. [huh?]..You make it seem like you won’t even need a guy in your life..and it’s good that you can do things for yourself..that’s a plus and that’s probably what draws them to you..but when you constantly turn down any gesture that they may offer to you, it makes them feel like “why are they needed?” I know any man would feel like that. I mean, Oprah, it’s okay to let go of the reigns. You need the break.

Oh well, we’ll see how Chris and I go..Whatever. :smile1_tb: