If I had to sum up this year, I would say that it was arduous. It was hard for me. Simply put. The fragility of my mental state was concerning. After losing a loved one so young, death consumed my thoughts. It seemed impossible to escape this sadness that shrouded me constantly. But I guess it is true that all you need is a mustard seed’s worth of faith.. because that’s all I had left.
It’s been hard to express my deep thoughts in this space. Because I get teary-eyed and my emotions overwhelm me to the point that I don’t want to continue. And that’s probably evident with just a gander at my post archive. Even now, there’s a lump in my throat as my eyes water. Not due to sadness. But because I remember telling myself I just have to make to the next day. And here I am, at the end of the year.
I’m using this new month to acknowledge my tenacity. December will be for reflection. For introspection. I want to use this month to soak up some much-needed friends and family time. I want to use this month to rest. I want to use this month to plan for the year ahead. Everything I want is what I will have.
I’m hoping this month leaves me speechless.. most beautifully and lovingly possible.