I came here with the intention to type an entry. To give some sort of update, but I’m at a lost for words. Being blindsided is one of the worst feelings in the world. Next to realizing that you completely wasted your time, energy, and emotions on someone who ultimately wasn’t worth it.

The last feeling I’d ever thought I’d feel was hate. But, I do. Hate and regret. Dismay. Complete worthlessness.

It’s amazing how you can spend so much time with a person and still not know who they really are.

For some strange reason, I always think there’s some good in a person who seems so evil and rotten, when they’re really rotten to the core.

Friends. They’re dropping like flies.

I wrote this post yesterday. On Mother’s Day. After discovering some disheartening things and learning about a few unfortunate events, I wanted to stay in my bed with the covers to my neck and just sulk deep within my despair and disappointment. I skipped church, mainly because I wanted to speak with God alone. I stayed home because I didn’t even have the energy to suppress my anger and sadness.

But, then something came over me. My selfishness subsided. There was absolutely no reason that I should be in bed being absent during a celebration of life and motherhood. My family deserved for me to be in their presence to celebrate such a blessing.

It turned out to be one of the greatest days of my life. Fishing and conversing with my family and friends.

I woke up this morning, grateful that I came to my senses and refused to let the actions and ill wills of others impact my happiness. Those tears of sadness, suddenly turned into tears of Happiness. Gratefulness. Overwhelming Joy.

You gotta love blessings in disguise.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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