Today was a day best suited for a visit to the water park in our neighborhood. I had been promising the kids all weekend that we’d get out of the house and do something. Secretly, I had made a promise to myself that I’d peel myself out of my bed as I’d been there since Friday. I’ve been deep within my thoughts lately, especially since the arrival and the passing of Mother’s Day. I’ve been down. Really down. And it had gotten to the point where even the kids noticed an obvious change in my mood.

I forced myself out of the house today and that was no easy feat. However, I figured a little fresh air would help–not to mention being around other people who seemed to be enjoying life at the moment.





I sat from the side and watched as the kids played. I laughed at how what seemed to be every direction they turned, someone splashed a little water in their faces. I enjoyed watching them interact with all of the children there. With the sun shining directly in my face from where I was sitting, it was hard to make out the little conversations that were going on between my children and their new-found friends, so I attempted to create my own dialogue.



Even that was difficult to do amidst all the giggles and laughter but it made me forget about my sadness and my sorrow. At least for that instant. Because in the next instant, I thought about my mother. But they were different kind of thoughts.

I thought about how she’d sit and watch us as we played. And even though we’d invite her to join in the fun, she’d politely refuse and laugh about it. As a child, I figured she thought she was too old to play the games that we played. I can remember a few moments where she did join in on the fun. Those memories are still quite vivid and clear to me. But now that I’m older and seasoned, I understand why she never joined in on the fun. To her, just watching us was much more enjoyable.



Watching the joy and happiness on our faces.. hearing our laughter.. watching us run and play for what seemed like an event that’d never end. Observing the games and the activities that we’d come up with.

And our dialogue.. perhaps she heard every word, but I believe she created her own.


Sometimes I take my kids to the park just so I can watch them interact with each other and others around them. It eliminates me having to provide an explanation as to why I’m looking at them while they’re playing in their room. Perhaps they don’t think I’m as weird especially since they’re so consumed with the world outside that they don’t even notice my gawking.

Regardless of how creative I may be with my explanation, they’d never understand why I watch them. Not now. They won’t understand until they’re older.

Perhaps they won’t understand it until they have children of their own.

And it probably won’t really hit them until their sitting at the waterpark watching their kids.. longing and wishing for me.

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  1. Vett

    May 20, 2013 at 8:38 am

    these are THE CUTEST kids, omg! and it looks like they’re soooo happy :)

  2. S ?

    May 20, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    They are so cute! And your daughters hair is just gorgeous. Like you, I absolutely love watching my daughter play. The innocence is beautiful sight.

  3. G K

    May 21, 2013 at 9:07 am

    Glad to see you back, Carla. I said a prayer for you. I know Mother’s Day must have been hard, and I honestly could not imagine. I think it’s great that you were able to reflect on the days your mother sat in your place and watched you and your siblings play. And you illustrated this so beautifully in your post.

    Your children…they’re so beautiful and happy. You can look at them and tell what a great mother you are. Your mom? She’d be very proud of the mother you are. Clearly you had a great teacher.

    Again, glad to see you back. Try not to leave us for that long again. :)

    1. Rae

      May 21, 2013 at 4:31 pm

      Thank you for your prayers. They definitely mean more than you. Mother’s Day was a bit difficult but we all got through it. I love how my immediate family and I are becoming so much closer.

  4. valla

    May 21, 2013 at 11:58 am

    very beautiful children and I can tell they had loads of fun. I too am a native of Louisiana, small county town called Franklinton to be exact lol.

  5. Farrah

    May 21, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    Your kids are so cute!! I totally understand what you mean though, I bet I’ll do the same thing when I have kids. Sometimes watching someone having fun is fun!

  6. DaenelT

    May 21, 2013 at 9:03 pm

    Beautifully said. I’m glad you’re creating these memories with your kids, it really does help when you have something else to focus on. I’m sending you and your little people lots of love.

  7. Mrs. Pancakes

    May 22, 2013 at 8:22 am

    looks like everyone had fun…i know about leaving the house on weekends just to enjoy life with the kids!!

  8. Veronica

    May 24, 2013 at 10:47 am

    These photos are so infused with emotion, I love them. The simplicity of watching children as they go about their lives is one of our best rewards as mothers. Beautifully said.

  9. Faith

    May 24, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    Wow. My arm is full of goosebumps. What a beautiful post. And that last picture, you have to frame. It’s stunning!

  10. Chymere

    May 28, 2013 at 11:48 am

    Beautifully written. I imagine the conversations between children also and I picture them as very intelligent and thought provoking dialogues. Full of imagination, innocence, and optimism.

    Love the photos…especially the last one. In my opinion, it should be framed.

  11. Kay

    May 29, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    I get a little funny taking my daughter to the nearest park for the simple fact that she always comes home with unexplained rashes. Your kids are fortunate to have each other. Fun is always where they are especially if they get along and their close. They have beautiful smiles!

  12. Ofure

    June 30, 2013 at 11:29 pm

    This post is beautiful! I love your blog and I’m glad that I cam across it today!

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