Yesterday I did something different–something that I hadn’t done in a while. I hung out with people my age.

My best friend, whom I also work with, has been asking me for weeks to go to happy hour but I always find some excuse not to tag along. Excuses like why my children needed me, even though they had their own little things going on. But, this time I said yes without the planning, the thinking, the devising, the planning for the planning. I just said yes. Something I haven’t done since before I had children.

You know what else I haven’t done since before I had children? Put an outfit for bar hopping together in less than 20 minutes. I had been wanting to wear this shirt I thrifted that perfectly complemented my zigi soho sandals for a while now and thought this was the perfect opportunity to do so.

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Shirt – Alfred Dunnar (thrifted) | Leggings – Gloria Vanderbilt (here) | Sandals – Zigi Soho (here)

I met up with a few of my coworkers for Happy Hour at a mature bar here in the city. Mature bars mean no fights, no bounce music, no ratchetness. Just influential and hardworking people that have come together to take the edge off and get ready for the weekend.

I needed to hear some mellow music. I needed to hear some music that I could relate to besides Austin Mahone, Bridget Medler (although I love her), and Selena Gomez. I needed to hear Sade, Marvin Gaye, Deneice Williams, Miguel, a little K. Michelle, and artists of the like.

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I didn’t feel guilty this time. Well, I did a little bit but that didn’t stop me from going and I’m glad I did. I had a wonderful time mingling and laughing. Especially laughing.

After the bar, we headed to a comedy show that featured the comic Mutzie. This was my first time going to a comedy show. One of my coworkers extended the invitation (and the free tix) and guaranteed a good time. And I can’t begin to tell you how glad I was we weren’t seated in the front. We were at the safe table. The table with Mutzie’s son. Nevertheless, he definitely did not disappoint. Mutzie even made himself laugh. I’m sure the amazing daiquiri made the show that much more funny and the nachos made it easier to consume that daq so quickly, but I left the show with a chest & belly ache and my mouth in pain from all the laughter.

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I needed this. I needed to be reminded that although I am a mom, I don’t have to reduce myself to “mom things.” I have fun with my children. I have fun going to family events and watching them run a muck and hearing them snoring afterwards. But I also love being around people and hearing them laugh and having them make me laugh.

It’s all about balance. I want to incorporate more of these hangouts in my schedule. It was the perfect release for the hectic work week and the perfect start to the weekend.

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25 Comments
  1. Law_Fal

    October 12, 2013 at 11:55 pm

    Soooo glad you went out and had fun. I’m not a mom but I have a best friend who is and she always tells me that she longs for moments where she can just be her not mama or mommy even just for a moment. I think it’s necessary to have that balance. I’m about to put you on a quarterly checkin to make sure you do something for you, even if it’s just taking a walk or hitting up happy hour! and LOL at no rachetness. Mannnnn no Boosie? Sigh. :(
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    1. Rae

      November 6, 2013 at 2:18 pm

      Absolutely NO Boosie! KMSL! And I didn’t mind one bit!

  2. Sheriden

    October 13, 2013 at 10:35 am

    Yay for nights like these! I’m so happy that you got to experience a night as Carla and not as Carla the mom, Carla the provider, Carla the hardworker – sometimes you gotta remember what it’s like to be you without that identity of mama. Carla needs love too lol. So I’m glad you had such a good time doll! I loved your outfit too btw :)
    I’ve been trying to date…My Profile

    1. Rae

      November 6, 2013 at 2:19 pm

      I like how you put that. “Carla” needs love too!

  3. Tamara

    October 13, 2013 at 11:35 am

    Aww I am too happy to hear about this adult-time! You’re an amazing Mother, there is no doubt about that. But you shouldn’t feel guilty to want to spend time and enjoy yourself among adults also! You need that me-time and whatever you decide to do with it is up to you. You’re responsible, hard working, and I know your me-time wouldn’t be reduced to some nonsense ratchetness (even though some alcoholic beverages makes you want to “do ratchet things with your friends’….I know you wouldn’t! LOL). I’m happy for you girlie :P
    Sorority Girl Sunday: Big/Little Week!My Profile

    1. Rae

      November 6, 2013 at 2:20 pm

      Sometimes I just can’t help the guilt. But, I can say that I am getting much better at not feeling so guilty all the time.

  4. Valla

    October 13, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    Adult time, girls night, out, just time out is something I can use more of and more “mature bars” too here in Atlanta. You would think we would have them, but now you have to pick and choose what nights to go if its gonna be 18 and up or 21 and up smh. But your outfit is cute girl and I love zigi soho shoe’s, yea they get me in trouble every time.
    NOW LISTENING| Cris CabMy Profile

    1. Rae

      November 6, 2013 at 2:21 pm

      That’s exactly how it is here in Baton Rouge, maybe even worse. I’ve visited Atlanta once and when I did, it reminded me so much of Baton Rouge because all of Baton Rouge was there for the Atlanta Classic. I am willing to give ATL another shot though.

  5. StefanyMari

    October 13, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    It really is all about balance. It’s hard finding that balance without feeling guilty, though. Last time I hung out was October 2012 LOL I definitely need one of these nights! Looove your shoes. You should’ve taken a head to toe photo!
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  6. Candace (NYStateofMoM)

    October 13, 2013 at 5:45 pm

    I do the same! Make excuses not to go out because I have mommy work to do but we all need a night away with friends our age to remember WHO we really are and just have fun! Glad you had a good night
    Verizon’s How Sweet The SoundMy Profile

  7. Kim

    October 14, 2013 at 5:21 am

    Why are you so much like me? I can relate to everything you are saying. I just haven’t gotten to the point where I’m not making excuses why I can’t go out. One day I will expand my life to more than being a mom. One day.
    Life’s lesson: Misery loves company…My Profile

  8. CeCe @Pink Sunshine

    October 14, 2013 at 11:27 am

    Yes, balance is so important! Of course you needed that night out. Glad you went out and got it.
    Watching People Fall Is FunnyMy Profile

  9. Vett

    October 14, 2013 at 6:38 pm

    nights like these are sooo necessary!! everyone looks so happy and stylish!
    Wearing my natural hair at workMy Profile

  10. Gerri

    October 14, 2013 at 8:40 pm

    Just caught up on your life, hun, and I’m leaving with a smile on my face. So happy things are going so well! The beautiful pics and writing were the perfect ending to my day. Much, much love to you!
    Hey there.My Profile

  11. Melanie

    October 15, 2013 at 10:50 am

    I can relate to this post 100%…my balance is 80/20 80% my child 20% me and though I’m completely aware of it’s so hard to change it some times…my excuses are endless. My blog reads as if my world revolves around my child which I know it’s healthy.

  12. Delabelle

    October 16, 2013 at 10:08 am

    Hi!! New follower here from All Many Layers! I can totally relate but we must remember we still need to take some time for ourselves.

    http://www.delabellesbeautyblog.com
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  13. Shannon

    October 16, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    It’s good that you went out! As moms, we need to do that every so often.
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  14. Cam | Bibs & Baubles

    October 17, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    Those type of nights are priceless. I’m glad you said yes. I don’t do it nearly enough. Thanks for the reminder that it’s so necessary!
    In the MeantimeMy Profile

  15. Miya

    October 17, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    You definitely have to find a balance but sometimes it’s a lot easier to just say home with your kid(s) & vibe with them doing kiddie stuff,cuddling & u have a piece of mind bc u r with them!
    Im happy you got out of the house with adults though! You need it darling!
    Btw love your comments on my blog esp the one about being happy your kids are older now.

    -Miya
    Miyaloves.blogspot.com

    1. Rae

      November 6, 2013 at 2:23 pm

      It’s easier and it also requires much less effort in regards to preparation. I think that’s the part that I definitely DON’T miss.. spending all that time getting ready and then being too exhausted to go out. LOL!

  16. Courtnee

    October 20, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    You said it best: it’s all about balance!

    Since I’ve moved to DC, I’ve been trying to get into the “happy hour” thing since that’s big here. I laughed as I read the excuses situation because that is so me! I actually did that yesterday, ooopppps.

    Glad you took some time for yourself and I’m loving your shoes :)

    -Court
    Check Me Out: Featured on ProfessionalGal.comMy Profile

  17. Kat

    October 21, 2013 at 1:24 am

    Nice to hear you finally went out and that you enjoyed your night. I long for my first adult outing. It’s always good to get out a couple of times a month sans kids.

  18. Lovelyladyjb

    October 21, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    I’m happy you got out and had a great time. It is all about balance, and although I am not a mommy yet – I know that feeling all to well of not wanting to leave my own little world. The funny thing is, often when I do get out I have a great time and feel happier that I’ve continued to strengthen friendships around me. Once I become a mommy I will let you know how that changes ;)
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  19. Nellie

    October 24, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    That looks like the perfect night out! yay for grown and sexy events– I lol’d at a little k. michelle. :)
    My Very First Trip to Atlantic City + Tanya Beardsley’s Dancing In The LightMy Profile

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