Rae La Soul

To know how much there is to know is the beginning of learning to live.” — Dorothy West (The Richer, the Poorer)

I’m close to the end of another decade. Life seems to be flying by at record speeds. Actually, everything seems so different now. Everything is different now compared to how life was just a few years ago. The variation seems so much apparent now that I’m actually in an introspective phase of my life.

It wasn’t too long ago when I had lost myself. Completely. TWICE. Life has a way of repeating lessons that you don’t quite grasp the first time. I didn’t know which way was up and rock bottom seemed to be the place I called home more often that I’d like to admit. At least what I considered to be rock bottom. Life came at me fast and I just didn’t know how to handle it, especially on the financial and mental front. Anxiety steered me in so many different directions that I started to believe that I would never find my way back to my sanity. I could remember how I felt, or maybe it was the lack of feeling. The numbness. I don’t know because I could remember feeling a helluva lot of shit and then feeling nothing at all. Turbulent times — always from one extreme to the next with no between.

Healing begins where the wound was made.” — Alice Walker (The Way Forward Is with a Broken Heart)

But I can truly bless that day that I found myself again. That day I rediscovered my purpose, my self-worth, and value and navigated back to myself. To my center. I can certainly bless that day I fought to get me back. The day that I put myself back together with every single piece that had been stolen from me–or, the pieces that I had given away willingly to faux friends and lovers that didn’t have my best interests in mind. I’m blessing the day that I took sole responsibility for every action and decision that I made and forgiven myself if I felt I needed it.

I was 25 — emerging from a quarter-life crisis to the surface of a life that I always imagined I would live. A life that I should live. A Life That I Was Going To Live!

These last three years that seceded my freedom have made this an interesting and unforgettable decade. Talk about a plot twist. But before I enter a new one, I’m taking a moment to appreciate all that I’ve experienced & accomplished over this last one. I don’t do this as often as I should — I don’t take the time to show as much self love as I should. I don’t take the time to acknowledge something major that I’ve overcome or accomplished. I don’t celebrate my life enough. And at 29, that has to change.

I’m a week (July 15) in the last year of my 20s and I’m taking a moment to appreciate where I am right now. Here. In this very moment — truly living, dreaming, and kicking ass at life. I’m taking a moment to appreciate and celebrate the woman I’ve become while simultaneously appreciating the battle I fought to become the woman I am today. And lastly, I pledge to always be in tune with my evolution throughout this life. God as my witness.

Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” — Oprah Winfrey