To know how much there is to know is the beginning of learning to live.” — Dorothy West (The Richer, the Poorer)

I’m close to the end of another decade. Life seems to be flying by at record speeds. Actually, everything seems so different now. Everything is different now compared to how life was just a few years ago. The variation seems so much apparent now that I’m actually in an introspective phase of my life.

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It wasn’t too long ago when I had lost myself. Completely. TWICE. Life has a way of repeating lessons that you don’t quite grasp the first time. I didn’t know which way was up and rock bottom seemed to be the place I called home more often that I’d like to admit. At least what I considered to be rock bottom. Life came at me fast and I just didn’t know how to handle it, especially on the financial and mental front. Anxiety steered me in so many different directions that I started to believe that I would never find my way back to my sanity. I could remember how I felt, or maybe it was the lack of feeling. The numbness. I don’t know because I could remember feeling a helluva lot of shit and then feeling nothing at all. Turbulent times — always from one extreme to the next with no between.

Healing begins where the wound was made.” — Alice Walker (The Way Forward Is with a Broken Heart)

But I can truly bless that day that I found myself again. That day I rediscovered my purpose, my self-worth, and value and navigated back to myself. To my center. I can certainly bless that day I fought to get me back. The day that I put myself back together with every single piece that had been stolen from me–or, the pieces that I had given away willingly to faux friends and lovers that didn’t have my best interests in mind. I’m blessing the day that I took sole responsibility for every action and decision that I made and forgiven myself if I felt I needed it.

I was 25 — emerging from a quarter-life crisis to the surface of a life that I always imagined I would live. A life that I should live. A Life That I Was Going To Live!

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These last three years that seceded my freedom have made this an interesting and unforgettable decade. Talk about a plot twist. But before I enter a new one, I’m taking a moment to appreciate all that I’ve experienced & accomplished over this last one. I don’t do this as often as I should — I don’t take the time to show as much self love as I should. I don’t take the time to acknowledge something major that I’ve overcome or accomplished. I don’t celebrate my life enough. And at 29, that has to change.

I’m a week (July 15) in the last year of my 20s and I’m taking a moment to appreciate where I am right now. Here. In this very moment — truly living, dreaming, and kicking ass at life. I’m taking a moment to appreciate and celebrate the woman I’ve become while simultaneously appreciating the battle I fought to become the woman I am today. And lastly, I pledge to always be in tune with my evolution throughout this life. God as my witness.

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Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” — Oprah Winfrey

Twenty-nine, Hello..

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13 Comments
  1. Terin

    July 21, 2016 at 11:41 am

    I’m so proud of your accomplishments. You’ve motivated me to do better in my 30s. Happy belated birthday.

    1. Rae

      August 5, 2016 at 12:01 pm

      Thanks girlie! I hope you enjoyed your birthday and good luck in your new decade. You’ve got this!

  2. Chantel

    July 22, 2016 at 9:27 am

    Happy belated birthday, hun! Mine was earlier this month, and I turned 27 with many of the same feelings you’re having at 29. I’ve read multiple 20-something birthday blog posts this week, and it seems we’re all connected by these emotions and reflections! Glad you got your sunbathe on ;)

    xx http://www.TheActiveSpirit.com

    1. Rae

      August 5, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      I think the sunbathing was the best part about bringing in my morning on my birthday. LOL!

      I hope you had an awesome birthday as well. I need to find those posts!

  3. Valla

    July 22, 2016 at 9:49 am

    This post is so inspiring! Happy Birthday girl! You make 29 look good! I’m right behind you in November and you definitely made me feel better about turning 29.

    1. Rae

      August 5, 2016 at 12:07 pm

      Thanks Valla!

      So what are you plans? You gotta do something you’ve never done, go somewhere you’ve never been, or both.

  4. Law_Fal

    July 27, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    Lawd this brought a tear to my eye. I’ve been following your journey for sooo long and to see your transformation has been a magical journey that I have been privileged to take with you. I’m so happy you saw all that potential that was waiting for the right moment to emerge. Proud is an understatement. You’ve grown so much and I’m just so happy for you! The sky is the limit and your best is yet to come!!! :)

    1. Rae

      August 5, 2016 at 12:06 pm

      I was so emotional when I wrote it. This post literally took me a few days to write because while I was writing, I’d have to take a break to let it all out. I guess the realization that I made it through so much became so real to me. It’ll always be real to me every time I reflect on it. I hate that I had to go through some of those instances, but I’m overjoyed that I was able to get through them.

      Thank you so much for your words. They mean more to me than you know! (:

  5. Shannon

    August 3, 2016 at 10:28 pm

    You have accomplished so much since I first started following your blog. It’s truly an amazing thing to see other women grow and achieve their goals.

    Happy Belated Birthday! My birthday was July 15th and I’ve just turned 32. I’m not sure why but I’ve come to be more appreciative of specific things and reflect on my life a bit more than I did years ago. I honestly feel that I could be doing more… so I’ve set out to do so.

    1. Rae

      August 5, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      Yes, I remember that we shared the same birthday! I hope you enjoyed your day.

      I think there always comes that time in different times of our lives where we feel that we should be doing more. I have those moments quite often and I’m getting better at managing how I deal with them. I’m glad that you are putting plans in place to make some things happen! That’s how great things start!

  6. Amanda Nicole

    August 7, 2016 at 11:18 am

    Happy Belated Birthday Rae! Cheering you on girl!

  7. niki

    August 15, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    i so admire the wisdom, strength and your ability to self-reflect in such a beautiful way at just 29. at 29 i was still kinda bip-bopping through life! haha… i’ve always been pretty self-aware, but you my dear, possess something else. it’s a knowing and an understanding of who you are as a woman that will carry you through the next decade and beyond with ease. oh, and that pic with the shades?!?! straight fiyah!!! hahaha…

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