For the past few days, I’ve spent longer in the shower washing the days away. Days that contain words unspoken, supressed thoughts and emotions, and reactions that I’ve successfully failed to act upon. My tolerance is near non-existent and I’m pretty much running on fumes. My mind is so busy and full that I’ve already made peace with the fact that I’ll be up for the most of the night.
I can appreciate it though — the silence to unscramble everything that’s going on in my head. Plus, I know that I’ll come to the conclusion soon enough if I keep having restless nights such as this one.
Certain situations have been weighing heavy on me. So much so, that I feel the weight in a physical form. The stress weighs heavy on my shoulders and has made it’s way into my diet and transformed me into someone I hardly recognize when I look in the mirror. But that’s another post for another day.
As a matter of fact, elaboration of everything that I’m sharing right now is a post for another day. Or perhaps I may never get around to it. Maybe in the midst of me getting around to elaborating, I’ll count my blessings. And while counting my blessings, hopefully I’ll dissuade myself from actually verbally assassinating a few people that need it. And as I stop myself from lingering on the people that aren’t generally concerned about me as I am about them, I’ll focus on those who are — those who lend a genuine ear.
And perhaps when I take a moment and accept God’s grace and mercy, I’ll also take note of all the strength that I’ve acquired over the years from all that I’ve had to endure, and I’ll just push through it.
Feb — Apr 2017
I started a post that contained the excerpt above three months ago. And for the last three months, my life has taken one tumultuous turn after another. As a result, I haven’t had much energy to deal with my daily life, let alone to come here and try to formulate blog posts. Fortunately, I am in a much better place mentally & emotionally and ready to get back within my element and just cultivate amazing experiences and memories.
During my time away, I’ve realized how crucial it is to protect your space where your peace exists, as well as the elements that surround said peace. There is still some fine-tuning that I need to do to my filtering processes, but I’m progressing nonetheless.
“When time and space and change converge, we find place. We arrive in Place when we resolve things. Place is peace of mind and understanding. Place is knowledge of self. Place is resolution.” — Abdullah Ibrahim