“The truth is in you. Your life, it might not be on the top of your consciousness, but everything is there. So when you zero in, all the details will come back to you.“
I made plans for myself on yesterday. After packing my weekends with social, work, and networking events, I hadn’t really had to the time to do things at my leisure. But this was the weekend that I was finally going to see Us. I was finally going to get a mani and pedi that was long overdue. Like 6 months overdue. And after all that, I had planned to end my day with a medium-well Steak Maui entree from J. Alexander’s. But instead, I opted to organize my office and code a little bit. Right before I hopped under my blanket and binged Shameless and The Chi.
The Chi is good, by the way. It’s reminiscent of The Wire to me. I feeling of intrigue was the exact same when I watched the first episodes of each of the shows as well. It was a feeling that I wanted to share with Twitter. Because Twitter is the place where at least three people feel exactly how you feel.
But as I’m preparing to write the words to express my elation, I’m slapped in the face with shock. It’s at this moment that my eyes scan my timeline sharing those exact feelings of shock as I did. Suddenly I was in this infinite loop of trying to process my feelings and trying to believe what I was reading. Nipsey Hussle had been shot. Numerous times. And he didn’t survive.
I had been playing Double Up for the past few weeks. On repeat for the entire commute to and from work.
Right Hand to God puts me in my mood. Gives me an indescribable feeling.
Grinding All my Life is the perfect reminder that I need all the time.
And this is all I have to say. Because how can you properly express the sadness you feel over someone you’ve never met. Who you’ve admired and drawn inspiration from time and time again.
I’m all over the place with my feelings. Sometimes the ways of the world convince me that there is a such thing as kindness, and humanity is a real thing. And then there are times like this where all I can say is “What The Entire Fuck?!” The struggle now is to rediscover wherever that medium is because the rationale in me knows that even though it’s not all good, it’s not all bad either.
Godspeed, Ermias. Godspeed.
Amanda Nicole
April 2, 2019 at 6:01 pmIt’s day # 2 and I still can’t shake how I feel. Personally, I’ve actually listened to his music so I can’t say much there but I may be impacted by all the good I’ve heard about him. Sad news is just said news. He was honorable. May he rest well.