January has been a very long month. And it’s length lended space for a whirlwind of emotions to brew. With that being said, I’ve taken the time needed to allow myself to process everything that I’ve felt in the ways in which I felt were best. That included being unapologetic about my process as well.
I think one of the most important lessons that needs reiteration over and over again includes how I properly manage my expectations. Sometimes when I’m navigating through life, I tend to believe that the people I have surrounded myself with mirror me in some ways. I am really particular about the people that I allow in my life and share intimate moments with myself and my family. So when I have to come to the realization that I’ve made a mistake in doing so, it hits me a bit hard. I operate from a sense of reciprocity — where I feel like what I put out, at the bare minimum, I can at least receive some decency in return. And that’s where I’ve been wrong.
“Stop expecting You from other people.”
Sure — a decent and respectful thing to do is to reciprocate respect and decency when it’s shown to you. But expecting it, well that’s another story. And I’m doing myself such a disservice by expecting me from other people, even though it’s just common decency in its simplest form.
But 2020 will be different because all 2020, I’m not expecting me from other people. I’m taking them exactly as they are and how they present themselves to me. That’s the only solution. The only remedy. And I’m perfectly fine with that.
Disa Chantel
January 30, 2020 at 9:35 amyou put “expecting” in a blog title and really had my hopes up that this was a baby announcement. how dare you.
(i do agree that january was a long month, though.)
Shannon
February 1, 2020 at 1:03 pmThis post hits close to home for me. I have always expected people to return what I give, but they never do. I discovered that having expectations is truly unrealistic. I suppose the key to remedying this would be to only accept like-minded individuals into our lives. You simply do not have to accept things about people because ultimately, if you allow them into your circle, these things can spill over into your life and screw with your livelihood as well. For me, I noticed that I have a tendency to gravitate toward needy people because I genuinely want to see people happy. However, I foolishly often think they want to see me happy too, which isn’t the case majority of the time. What I have really noticed though, is that most of the time the unhappiness that I try to help others turn around often gets dumped onto me. Realizing all of this has prompted me to keep my circle extra tight and as I’ve come to discover, my circle ended up not being that big after all.
Lecie
February 12, 2020 at 5:06 pmThis post hit home. I’m going through something very similar. I’ve realized that sometimes it’s a sign that I need to reprioritize my relationships, readjust my expectations and start putting myself first. Not everyone has the same capacity to give to others. It doesn’t make them bad people but you have to make sure you spend time with folks who can pour into you more than they take.
Amanda Nicole
February 21, 2020 at 5:52 pmOh Carla, I late reading this but my oh my have you just hit me in the gut…. totally evaluating something that has a lot to do with expectations. I wish I had more but I am trying.