Rae La Soul

I was conversing with one of my best friends and we got on the subject about the exciting things that we said we were going to do this year, but didn’t get a chance to do. From the bungee jumping, Tiki tubing down a river, to zip riding, etc., we allowed things to get in the way. We had gathered all of the information to do all of these things, but never really got the chance to do so.

I strongly believe that part of the problem was all of the planning. I tend to have a need for order, organization and a plan which then causes me to shun away from spontaneity. It’s always good to have a plan, but I’ve come to the realization that I spend entirely too much time “planning to have fun.” Fun should just happen. I’ve always argued that having a fool-proof plan will eliminate disappointments; but, I’ve failed to fathom that too much planning can lead me to those same disappointments.

As a young mother, I feel as though I’m always on borrowed time. I get to the point where I feel like there is never enough time to do anything. I sometimes feel like I should just accept the fact that there just isn’t enough time to be me and just worry about being Mom. But, I’ve realized that Me = Mom, and Mommy can still be spontaneous and fun. With that being said, I’m getting an early start on my Bucket List. I want to visit other states, other countries, take pictures, bungee jump from a building and have it filmed, float in a tube down the river, ride on a zip line, see the lights in Vegas, and emerge from the purple-blue-green waters of Pensacola like I’m auditioning for a scene for Baywatch.

I’m reverting. Not completely back to my old self but I’m letting go of some of this reservation. Even my family agrees. I’m giving up the doubt. I’m giving up the excess planning. I’m giving up on the guilt of leaving my children when I deserve some time alone. And I’m giving up on believing that chores are a form of fun and entertainment. I’m not waiting until next year. This is not my New Year’s Resolution. I’m starting NOW!