Rae La Soul

Most of us want to tell our coworkers or friends, or husbands or wives, our ideas. For what reason? We want validation. But I feel ideas are most vulnerable in their infancy. Out of love and concern, friends and family give all the reasons or objections on why [you] shouldn’t do it. I didn’t want to risk that. — Sara Blakely

I was perusing instagram when I came across this quote from BeFreeProject’s feed and was amazed at how this summed up the last few weeks of my life. I can’t even begin to tell you how much negativity I’ve received from those around me about my decision to try and purchase a home. Even more negativity came when I put in an offer and the offer was accepted. Everyone seems to know what type of house you should buy, where you should live, how much you should spend.. like they’re going to be paying the mortgage or living with you. And it has done nothing but frustrate me and cause me to completely withdraw myself and retreat to my own plastic bubble that is surrounded by my faith.

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See, me reaching out was a huge leap of faith that I took. The main purpose was for me to see where I stood and what I needed to improve. But to my surprise, I was preapproved. And then I tried to get downpayment assistance. I went through hurdles, another application process with a different lender, and got it. Then I put an offer in on a home.. a home about the same age as me as i absolutely ADORE older homes, 2100 square feet, 4 bedrooms, within my range, and in a beautiful neighborhood where I can easily avoid the traffic that I face on a daily basis. I even asked for help with closing costs and that the appliances remain. The sellers accepted the offer.

Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith.” — Margaret Shepard

The amount of leaps of faith that I’ve taken thus far is enough to cancel my gym membership. I swear.

But since the offer, I’ve had to jump over hurdles and a few hoops. I’ve been on edge. Had I’d known my life would be in such a disarray while going through this process, I would have a better contingency plan in place. The path to homeownership is not an easy one. I know you’ve heard this before, but trust me, it’s tough — tougher than I imagined. (And it’s probably because of me being away in Puerto Rico for a week and coming back with a shitload of things to do and catch up on.) I stopped counting how many times I cried. And you want to know what’s funny — when the system approves you, but something comes up where your originator needs to try to do a manual underwrite. I’ll explain that at a later time. And dreaming about this home has been a part of my nightly routine. And my fingers have been crossed, my knees aching, and my head bowed for soooo long.. I haven’t been brought this far to not believe something amazing isn’t about to happen within the next few weeks.

There are only a few people who I keep updated with the details of this process. They will be the only ones who will know what I need them to know until I get through this. So until it’s over, I’m keeping my head low and my mouth shut while I continue to depend solely on my faith as I leap.