Life has really gifted me with a whirlwind of emotions since the start of 2020. Indecisiveness. Joy. Anxiety. Excitement. Chaos. Tranquility. Navigating all of those emotions has been nothing short of interesting. Sometimes I know exactly how to get through what I’m feeling, other times I don’t. I think what’s been crucial to me keeping my head attached to my shoulders is that I know in the end, it all works out. It has to. It always has. And I guess that’s what gives me peace.
As I type this, I am currently 5 months pregnant and rummaging through all of the job boards looking for a new job. Why? Well because, in about 3 weeks, I’ll be laid off. I wasn’t truly shocked by the news because I sort of saw all of this coming with the way our company’s restructuring was going and the current pandemic. I know my manager and upper managment tried the best they could to get positions for the entire team. But there were only two, and I ranked 3rd. Disappointment that I’d have to leave the company filled me, especially when thinking about everything that I experienced at my previous job. It was easy to get attached since it was a job I absolutely loved and appreciated. I never wanted it to end. I never saw it ending. But, here I am.
I’ve been interviewing since Feb. Received one offer in March. But due to the pandemic, that’s been put on hold since they don’t currently have a training model that supports virtual learning. Knowing that, I’m not sure I would want to work with a company that has such antiquated processes, but it’s a paycheck and an upward position nonetheless. I am in my final round with a company based in FL that is a completely remote position. I am also waiting to hear back from my current company about a lateral move in a different division that is also remote. While I’d prefer to stay with the company, any remote position would due at this point, especially since Baby will be here in August. (hey Disa!)
While everything isn’t all good right now, it certainly isn’t all bad. Sure, we may have to cut back on some things, we definitely won’t have to go without. My new patio may have to wait until 4th quarter or maybe next year, but we have about 25 more years in this house so there’s plenty of time, God-willing. LOL! For a moment, I chastised myself for having another baby in a rocky situation when I thought I did all the preparation that I could.. but I realized how silly that was. For those of you that have been with me since 09, you’d agree that life looks and is totally different for me now, for us now. And to quickly discredit that based on a situation totally out of my control is unfair to who I am now. Even as I look back, as tough as things were, everything always worked out.
And knowing that they always have, I know that they always will.
Please stay safe during these turbulent times.